If any of you guys have ever watched Barney growing up, then you probably know what sharing is (if you don't then there was something wrong with your childhood). I hate sharing, personally. Well, I don't hate sharing stuff like my shoes or my clothes or my food (unless its chocolate or something), but I hate sharing my work. I think that's a common thing about writers; we are afraid to share our stuff while we are writing it. Even the big name writers have a hard time. Take Stephanie Meyer for example. One of her excerpts leaked out online and she freaked out. At first I was like chill woman, but as time went on I realized that I would have been the same way. I would have been just as protective over my work as she was, and I think that you would too. We are all so greedy and selfish with our stories. Why is that? Why do we have such a hard time sharing our stories? I still don't really understand why, but here is my explanation for it.Sometimes school really sucks. Let's face it people, its fun for a little bit when you can come home with coloring sheets for homework and reading assignments such as The Magic Treehouse book series or whatever (you know, the one about Jack and Annie and a totally epic tree house that would put the Tardis to shame). By the way, does Morgana or whats-her-name remind anybody of Revir Song? Anyways, ever since those glory childhood school days ended we all just kind of slipped into the deep, scary, dark world called high school (dun dun dun). Our imaginations were torn out by textbooks, math, bad teachers and worst of all, the lack of Ms. Frizzle (its just Ms. right? she's still single?). But nothing about high school is as terrible as the fact that homework takes the place of doing the things that we love. And for us, that is writing, which, in return, creates monsters out of all of us. When I go for long periods of time without writing due to homework, I turn into a permanent PMS beast. But that's just me.
I'm going to get a little bit personal here. Its been a hard year for me. Heck, its been hard for everyone around here. School is hard enough, and its breaking me down honestly, as it is for all of you (probably). And then there are those like me who not only have to struggle through school, we have to struggle through situations at our homes and in our personal lives. For writers like us, the only thing that gets us through the day is the hope that we can return to our books and our characters, pouring out our pains and our struggles through people who don't even exist. Writing is, in a way, living. We use it to get through the horrors of high school, college, home situations, relationships, and most of all our biggest problems.
Yeah, see, that's what most people don't get about us authors. They don't get that when we write, we aren't doing it because its a hobby. We aren't doing it because we are bored or because we want to become famous authors someday. We do it because we have to. Inside of all of us lives a creature, a living soul that contains all of our tears and hurts and pains, and it drives us to write. No, it doesn't just drive us to do so, it forces us. And if we stop, it just might eat us up.
Bad analogy? Maybe. But its true that there is so much more to the writer than meets the eyes. There is so much more to our work than simple words and stories and characters. I believe that every character that we create is a part of our lives, a memory pushed into a human body, a piece of ourselves that we didn't notice before reincarnated as a living person. These characters have the power to take our experiences and make them their own, and to take our pain and our suffering away from us. They make us better people; they show us who we can be and the pieces of ourselves that we should avoid.
When I write, I usually do so when crying. Every word contains a small silver tear, and within every tear lives a world of my own regret and my own misery. When a writer puts a pen to the paper, it is not done in the hopes that another could come and read it and then leave it behind forever. When an author begins a story it is not done because they dream of having someone read it and then compliment it or something. No, for me it is much different. I see the writer as a complicated person who cannot understand herself no matter how hard she tries. In order to do so she spills out her soul onto the paper to read and understand. She bleeds out her tears and her hurts caused by the pains that life has to offer her, so that she can know how to overcome her fears and her difficulties. Writing isn't a hobby, its therapy. And without it, I seriously doubt that I would be here right here right now rambling to you guys. I would have been consumed with the bad, dark things in my life, and I'm sure that other writers would have done the same.
See, darkness is a demon that threatens to take the good parts of us away, and writing is a power that we use against it.
When authors write, they put themselves out onto the paper, and if we are placed into the wrong hands, we will get cut. The deepest wounds are made by those who criticize us, and the pains that hurt the most are found on the pieces of ourselves that are the most vulnerable. When we give our books and our stories out to people, we give them the ability to make these types of wounds. That is why it is so difficult for us to share our work. That is why I cannot show some parts of my writing to other people; its too deep and too personal, and it gives the reader too much power over me.
So the next time someone tries to steal your work from you, or bothers you by asking for it over and over again, tell them that its not ready to share yet. Because when you are writing your stories, you aren't writing them for other people. You are writing them for yourself, and there is nothing wrong with that. So don't share yet, and don't feel bad about keeping your work to yourself. Sharing is something that comes with a lovely thing called editing. But that's a topic for another time.
Peace, my lovely Tea Spitters! Don't be afraid to be selfish with your work.
Have fun writing. And thanks for hearing me out.
-Fuze
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